My 20s were all about figuring out the real world. Up to that point, I was in school and relied on my parents for most of my life. Even in college, I was independent but had scholarships for school and a tanning salon job for beer money. I could pick my classes around my schedule and didn't have to deal with a 9-5 job.
Nearing the end of college, when I started getting internships, and after graduation, when I landed my first big girl job, I quickly realized I needed to get my shit together. I didn't know that the salary I was offered didn't account for almost 50% going to taxes and a retirement account, and I couldn't afford the apartment I thought I could. I didn't realize how hard it was to maintain a college party lifestyle, going out on Thursdays, and still having to wake up at 5 am to get to a job the next day. I didn't know how to invest my money, fix my car, ask for a raise, dress for this new phase of life, or date men instead of boys, let alone be a wife and a mother. It was a decade of learning and growing and really figuring out the basics of life.
I turned to reading books that were recommended by my dad and coworkers who had reached success in areas I wanted to succeed in as well. Here's a few of them that really got me through:
The Simple Path to Wealth
This book is so, so simple. The author writes it for his young adult daughter, and it honestly feels like my dad giving me advice. I read many personal finance books marketed toward women, but they often felt demeaning, like I was being lectured. This book is a loving and respectful conversation between a dad and his daughter, giving her advice on how to have a happy life and the finances to match. It's not about bitcoin or day trading or anything sexy and fun, which can make it hard to follow. But once I started implementing these principles, I saw a huge improvement in my finances instead of just spending all I earned with zero savings.
When's Happy Hour
I read this book half a year too late, after making a few too many mistakes in the adult working world. This one talks all about work culture and how to navigate it. When you need to be a "yes man" and do everything you can just to gain experience, and when to back off and be more conservative with your time and skills. When it's appropriate to do happy hour with your boss and how to act (major help needed in this area). Anytime we get a new hire out of college, this is one of my gifts to them.
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
This book changed my view of men and women. I was raised to be a strong, independent woman, and I started viewing myself as a smaller version of a man with longer hair, which wasn't the case at all. This book eloquently explains the differences between men and women and helped me understand that I could use my femininity as a strength at work rather than trying to just be "one of the guys." It also helped me in dating, teaching me that when a man holds the door open, it's not a sign of disrespect or an act against feminism. This book truly helped me up my dating standards and helped me find the perfect husband. Get your hands on it here.
Atomic Habits
Remember how I told you I'd go out to late-night happy hours on Thursdays and have to get up at 5 am for work the next day? It was wearing me out, and I was burnt out and tired. Everything was showing up on my body too—gaining weight and wrinkles at the ripe age of 25. I knew this was just life now and had to figure out how to manage it. This book really helped with creating routines and habits that fit my lifestyle. I started with habit stacking, listening to audiobooks on my hour-long commute to and from work, and spending my lunch hour ordering groceries for delivery to arrive when I got home at the end of the day. It helped me transition from fight-or-flight mode every day at work to a routine I could actually live and grow in. Check it out here.
The Surrendered Wife
A friend recommended this book, and I was skeptical. Although I found my husband, I was still in that mindset that I'm a strong, independent woman. In reality, I was no longer independent. I was part of a team. My husband and I had to work together, not independently side by side. I was doing what any good firstborn daughter, independent woman would do—starting to control everything. From our finances to our schedule, I was the head of the household, and it stressed me out. Reading this book helped me realize the differences between men and women in a marriage dynamic and how I was not helping our marriage at all. In fact, I was doing the opposite. I started backing off and asked my husband to take over many areas of our lives. Now, I'm a happy wife with a happy life and can just turn off my brain when I'm with him. I don't worry about where we're going or if he missed a turn. I don't worry about finances or bills. He just gives me what I need and want. It's polar opposite of what I thought in my 20s about what marriage would be like, but in the absolute best way possible. Dive into it here.
These books were my guiding lights, my mentors, and my reality checks. If you're navigating your 20s or any transitional phase, these are my top recommendations to help you grow, learn, and thrive.