The biblical tale of the Tower of Babel recounts a story of people constructing a tower to reach the heavens, only to find themselves unable to understand each other midway through the project. Their inability to communicate led to an end in construction and, ultimately, no progress. While the story implies a language barrier, I've worked on construction crews with non-English-speaking laborers, and we successfully completed many projects. Although a language barrier might be at the heart of the story, the real issue seems to be a breakdown in communication and productivity—weird, sounds kinda like our world today. Or even our own Thanksgiving tables.
We currently live in a time where productive communication is lacking and even within families, the people we love the most, things get divided and heated. I've noticed it's the loudest voices are the ones who tend to be overpaid and under read. I am neither, and I relate closely to the "better to remain silent and be thought of a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt". But more so, I want to be the one at the party that was remembered as being kind and welcoming and made everyone feel comfortable rather than them remembering a heated conversation. Here's my game plan going into the holidays with family.
Bring a Party Favor
First things first, bring a party favor. Depending on the size of the party, you can go with a hostess gift, a gift for each family, or a gift for each person. This isn't about going all out—just a small party favor for everyone to take home. Trust me, it's hard to stay mad at someone who comes bearing gifts. Think little personalized candles with "Henderson Thanksgiving 2024," stovetop potpourri in a jar with a cute note, or a bag of homemade fudge.
Introduce Yourself
I've been that new person hiding in a corner at someone else's family event, and let me tell you, it sucks. Everyone knows each other except you, there are inside jokes and family dynamics you're clueless about. If you spot this person at your party, be the one to go up, introduce yourself, and offer to get them a drink. Even a short convo can break the ice and make them feel more welcomed. Plus, offer drinks to anyone who arrives after you—it's just a super nice gesture.
The Nancy Regan Gaze
Okay, here's a trick for when you're stuck in a convo that's not really your jam. Maybe it's your uncle explaining a 9/11 conspiracy theory with a full power point or your cousin's new boyfriend explaining to your ex-military dad why he's not paying his student loans. What do you do? Give them the Nancy Reagan gaze. Look at them like they're the most fascinating person in the room. Stare and nod like your life depends on it. This is your secret weapon tonight.
The Narcissists
Every family has at least one narcissist, and there's no changing them. I've wasted hours trying. The best way to handle them? Give them the stage they crave. Let them talk, show off, tell their stories. Clap for them, give them praise, be their audience for the night. Pair it with that Nancy Reagan stare and you'll survive. Then, make a mental note to avoid solo hangouts with them.
The key to surviving and thriving at family gatherings is all about kindness, inclusivity, and a bit of strategy. With thoughtful gifts, welcoming gestures, mastering the art of listening, and gracefully handling the narcissists, you can ensure your holiday gatherings are remembered for all the right reasons. Happy holidays, babes!